Monday, January 14, 2013

Interview: March For Crystal Bowersox's New Album

Crystal "Mamasox" Bowersox, the deeply introspective, contemplative and gifted singer/songwriter/guitarist with the pristine voice, rearview dreads and big blue eyes, just finished recording her yet-to-be-named sophomore album set for release this March. With only the final mixing and remastering touches remaining, Kenny Poo had the honor and privilege of sitting down with Crystal and her hubby (Brian Walker) for an insightful, candid, face-to-face, fictitious interview about life, music and whatever else popped into our heads.

* * * *

Kenny Poo: First off, thank you so much for taking time out of your super busy life to hang out with me on your porch shooting the shit over some beers. What a thrill!

Crystal: Of course! I've been looking forward to it! Besides, anything for Kenny Poo.

Brian: Yeah, we both have both been excited for this. Just keep your hands off my chickens, wing man!

Kenny Poo: Ha! Well, I'll try...but after a few cold ones you know visions of a deep fryer will start dancing in my head. Anyway, Crystal, you've been playing guitar, singing and songwriting since you were a child. Your first album, Farmer's Daughter, and your recent EP release, Once Upon A Time, are both mainly composed of songs from the darkest periods of your life. Now that you're in a much better place, will your new album reflect that positive energy?

Crystal: Well, certainly the tone of the album will be representative of my current reality, but I'd prefer to let the album speak for itself and have listeners draw their own conclusions and meanings. Besides, this whole interview is just a figment of your imagination, so anything I say is really just you pulling thoughts out of your ass and typing it out as if I'm doing the talking.

Kenny Poo:  Excellent points, Crystal. So, we now know Jakob Dylan, Bob Dylan's son and a singer/songwriter in his own right, will be making an appearance on your album. How did this come about? I'd imagine with you being first and foremost a folk singer, having the talented son of a music legend in this genre performing with you must have been a dream come true.

Crystal: Well, almost as much of a dream come true as drinking beers out here on my porch with Kenny Poo! [Crystal laughs out loud, clicks bottles with me and Brian, and we all guzzle our beers down]. Seriously, it was a big deal for me. Brian and I both were so excited it actually happened, but how it happened I'll leave to your imagination...just like, you know, this entire interview.

Brian: Yes, it was awesome, though because of him it meant one less tune on the album that I got to appear on, so now I kinda hate him

Crystal: [Elbows Brian] You know not to listen to Brian, right Kenny? He's nearly as sarcastic and full of shit as you are.

Kenny Poo: Well, for what it's worth, Jakob appearing also made it one less song I'm able to sing on your album, so I'm not too fond of him myself. Still, part of me is thinking it might be for the best.

Crystal: Ya think?

Kenny Poo: Anyway, Crystal, back to more serious issues. I saw in a recent interview you mentioning that since your time on American Idol you've learned to not burp and swear as loud in public. Two questions: 1. Does that also include flatulence, and, 2. Does that mean all bets are off here in private?

Crystal: Thank you for asking that, Kenny. I was hoping to be able to elaborate further on this topic, and since you brought it up, allow me to answer with a toast. [Raises beer] Here's to us and here's to them. FUCK them, here's to us!! [Chugs beer, let's out huge belch, and rips thunderous fart that nearly blows Brian off the patio].

Kenny Poo: Good one, Mama!! So, now that you've in a sense cleared the air, let me ask you another album question. Though most of the LP will be your own original compositions, I saw that you'll be covering Here's Where The Story Ends by The Sundays on this album? Did you choose that one because it's not overly iconic, you like the song, and it fit in nicely with the overall sound and theme of the album?

Crystal: Bingo! You nailed it, Kenny. I didn't want to choose a cover song that's an iconic institution because what's the point? You either are a total copy, or insult the song's fans by changing it up. At least, that's what you're typing me to say.

Kenny Poo: In closing, will you be doing any extensive touring to support the album? If so, how about making a stop in Boca Raton and then hanging out for a few cocktails with me and Mrs Poo after the show?

Crystal: Nothing would make me happier, Kenny. Count on it. BTW, can I just say that you have an awesome blog and everyone should follow you on twitter?

Kenny Poo: You just did, Mama. BTW, I still owe Brian a shot, and hopefully he'll be here with you then to collect on it. Anyway, thanks again for sharing your home, beer, and time with me. Can't wait for the album, and I'll be first in line for it when it becomes available in March!

~Kenny Poo


  1. Wow, such unprecedented access, so vividly described as to be a delight for all the senses. And I saw the subject herself was very appreciative. You da man, Kenny Poo! -Andy B

    1. Well, I must admit that the whole thing was such a blur it seems like it never really happened. Truly unbelievable.

  2. You will be near the front of the line until my flatulence moves everyone back a little---Revolution

    nice piece by the way...If you weren't such a right winger I'd offer you a job at my publication.

    1. Thanks for the props, but I'll stick with who I am. I have wonderful relationships with people of all political stripes, but I have no use for arrogant, mindless, cartoonish ideologues on either side who seek to demean and divide.

    2. BTW, you should open up to more diverse views. I'm so lovable both sides can't resist me.

  3. This post....I am speechless. Love you Kenny Poo, and cannot WAIT for Crystal's album!

    1. Thanks, KT! Love ya back. :) I have VERY high hopes for this album, BTW. I say CB has put together a masterpiece.

  4. OMG! I cannot stop laughing!! Go Kenny Poo! You really should be doing interviews. I can seriously picture this convo. Hurry up MARCH! I'm ready for Mama's music!!

  5. ROTFLMAO ;)
    Yrs truly forever, @laurirose

    PS. Y'all gonna watch idol new season? Of course no one can ever replace cb but I'm always curious to find talent like haley, naima, elise, joshua, etc
    PPS. Prayin we can avoid another WGWG winner again :(

    Hugs to kenny poo, even tho yr a damn ole republican in need of a good ole brainwashing :)

    1. Luv ya back, Lori. Yes, I'll definitely be watching Idol. In fact, check the blog later today for a new post about my thoughts on the show. BTW, keep in mind Crystal is a WGWG.

      PS: You cannot brainwash me; I've got an impenetrable scotch barrier protecting my cranium. Just accept that you're stuck with conservative, charming, handsome, witty, brilliant, lovable Kenny Poo.