Friday Rant: NHL and Gay Activism

Time for Kenny Poo to get a big, giant, politically incorrect rant off his chest. Normally I stay in my music bubble here, but the announcement that the NHL has adopted a formal policy of gay activism has given me rocket fuel to blast off with. Here is a snippet of the article:

“I’m very proud that the National Hockey League and NHL Players Association are the ones taking this step and breaking new ground,” Philadelphia Flyers scout and YCP co-founder Patrick Burke told THN late Thursday morning.

“The big shift is that this is a professional sports league saying not that, ‘We tolerate you,’ not that, ‘We’ll deal with it if we need to,’ but that they’re inviting us in. It’s exciting.”

“Our motto is ‘Hockey Is For Everyone,’ and our partnership with You Can Play certifies that position in a clear and unequivocal way,” added NHL commissioner Gary Bettman.

“While we believe that our actions in the past have shown our support for the LGBT community, we are delighted to reaffirm through this joint venture with the NHL Players’ Association that the official policy of the NHL is one of inclusion on the ice, in our locker rooms and in the stands.”

WTF? Look, I'm not the least bit homophobic or homophyllic (and probably only borderline homosapien). In fact, I personally don't give two shits if someone prefers same sex fornication, and I loathe bullying of all kinds, but I DON'T want or need sexual activism shoved in my face by the National Hockey League.

Is it really asking so much to relegate the hot-button social issues to the news channels and political blogoshpere? I certainly don't need my little kids being bombarded with gay marriage campaigns, gay activism commercials, AIDS awareness, gay rights public service announcements, and NHL Pride Month celebrations. It's fucking sports, people, can we not have a single haven from special interest bullshit?

ENOUGH ALREADY! BE GAY! BE STRAIGHT! I DON'T REALLY GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU DO, JUST PUT A FUCKING MUZZLE ON YOUR GODDAM SEXUAL INCLINATION PRIDE WHILE I'M WATCHING A FUCKING HOCKEY GAME!!

WTF is going on in this world? What's next, NARAL sponsoring a pro-abortion montage between periods (pardon the pun)? Is there no good taste anymore? No lines drawn between when and where you engage in divisive political action campaigns?

BTW, as long as I'm ranting, I also don't need to see anymore anti-smoking commercials where grossly disfigured cancer patients are paraded around like carnival freaks to make us sick. Oh, and the ubiquitous erectile dysfunction ads depicting elderly couples sharing the intimate pleasures of their sex life (along with all the gruesome contraindications) are so fucking annoying and inappropriate I want to vomit in their bathtub.

For that matter, enough with the breast cancer awareness, too. Since when are cancers of certain body parts more worthy of our attention and money than others? Cancer strikes in infinitely different ways, and is a horrific disease that impacts us all, but making it about breasts and women somehow makes it more cause célèbre. It's fucked up and wrong. Breast cancer is not one iota more or less tragic than any other body part cancer, so let's just get rid of the breasts and pink ribbons and make the campaign about CANCER AWARENESS.

Basically, what I would like is a society where we compartmentalize our sensitive subjects a bit more. Some decency brought back to the world. There's a time and place for everything, but now it seems the time and place divisions are not just blurred but eradicated, shoved in our face 24/7, and crammed up our ass wherever we look whether we want it or not.

Coming soon: Disney and KY announce a partnership for orgasm awareness.

OK, I've probably pissed enough people off for one day. Let me know what you think. Am I way off base? Right on the money? Not sure what to make of me? Am I desperately in need of scotch?

Rant off.

~Kenny Poo