Thursday, April 25, 2013

Douchano Baggone Brings The Cheese

The Douchano Baggone clothing and accessories line

Question: For the love of fuck, why the fuck was douchebaggary's poster boy, Stefano Langone, on American Idol last night? He finished way back in 7th place 2 YEARS AGO, was just on last year to promote his first shitty single, still has no post-idol album, released two ridiculous singles that have gone absolutely nowhere on radio, yet he's given the Grande Montage followed by a live performance of his most recent flop single, Yes To Love (SEE: New Music:  Stefano - Yes To Love

Predictably, the beloved blogger extraordinaire, Sir Lord Baron Kenny of Poo, was nauseated at the sight of Fano Le Douche warbling his way through another formula pop track for no apparent reason. Is Nigel so desperate to distance himself from last season's winner, multi-platinum smash sensation Phillip Phillips, that he's willing to cast a nobody poser whose biggest distinction since his Idol year is hating Phillip Phillips (SEE: Phillips Punks Haters)??

Was Crystal Bowersox (whose amazing new album, All That For This, was just released 3 weeks ago) for some reason unavailable? For that matter, were all the artists who finished Top 3 on Idol the past 11 years unavailable?

I know my girl Haley Reinhart is on a FOX Idol promotion assignment in SE Asia right now, so how perfect would it be to have her on in the final weeks to discuss the journey with a montage, and then bang out a tune? Can't tell me the babe of babes with the smokey voice wouldn't spike ratings.

Actually, how about Pia Toscano? Her shocking elimination from Season 10 still remains one of the biggest stories in show history, plus it's ladies year on Idol, she's in need of a break, is beyond gorgeous, has a beautiful voice, lives in LA, sings the NA for the Kings, and has a huge concert with Jennifer Hudson and Jordin Sparks tonight to promote (Diva's In The Desert). Oh, and her 205k followers on twitter is roughly 120k more than Baggo Douchone, so don't tell me he's somehow more popular.

All this made watching Summersevo Doucheone mumble his way through that forgettable, bland, mid-tempo, cheese fest puzzling and somewhat offensive. It wasn't so much the song being lame that got to me (it's certainly more tolerable than anything that's ever come out of Skanky Minage's wretched pie hole), but  how undeserving it is to have him on the show getting unearned star treatment. If not a past winner, one would think such spots should be reserved for those releasing an album, or having some industry success to celebrate, or has an interesting narrative to profile, or is returning to the Idol stage after a long time away, yet he has none of this on his resume.

Bottom line: I just don't have a clue why he was on my TV. Not sure who Femininehygieno Baggadouche had to blow to land this gig, but, watching him smarm in that montage, with his non-Rx glasses and grating smirk, I couldn't help but check to see if I could find some leftover jizz residue stuck on his face.

That's how I see it. What did you think of Stefano's performance?

Kenny Poo out.

6 comments:

  1. Femininehygieno Baggadouch? Summersevo Doucheone?? HAHAHAHAHA!! LMFAO!!!!

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  2. LMFAO, Kenny, quit sugar-coating it and tell us how you really feel. You are spot on about Pia, would love to see her on the Idol stage again, but I am sure Nigel & Co aren't that charitable unless the singer is contributing to their coffer so to speak. I am sure your little bro Stefano is in some way tied to them, if not, wtf!
    ---nevrbluffs

    ps Go Bills, (QB EJ Manuel?)

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    1. Sorry, should I have been more direct? ;}

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  3. What I want to know is why Casey didn't get to sing something off his cd. He also didn't get any montage. He finished above Stefano--at least by on wk-LOL.

    And WHERE is Ms Bowersox??? I want to know that too. And what was Casey doing up at her house a few wks ago. I want to know that --collaboration of some sort-or just hanging out?

    I would love to see Haley again--but I don't feel bad for her since she was in Bali and I'm in Baltimore ha!

    PS--Guess u don't like Stefano :)

    Laura

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