Friday, July 27, 2012

Daily Weigh-in: Fuck This Shit!


After getting frustrated by the slowdown in my weight loss this week, yesterday I decided to go into diet overdrive. I had literally ZERO carbs, did an exercise walk in the sweltering South Florida heat, drank water all day, and stepped on the scale this morning to find out I gained 2.5 lbs.

Uh, hello? GAINED two pounds?!! What the fuck is this?

Look, I can fucking gain fucking weight eating and drinking whatever the fuck I want without any exercise at all.. I certainly don't need to go on the motherfucking diet from hell to break even or GAIN weight. What's the point?

Not sure what to do now. I'm not starting to get frustrated, I'm beyond frustrated. Out-of-my-skull, burn-down-an-orphanage frustrated.

So, you know what I'm thinking, right? I'm  thinking FUCK THIS SHIT! GIVE ME A CASE OF BEER, A BOTTLE OF SCOTCH, AND A  LARGE PIZZA WITH FRIES, ONION RINGS AND DONUTS!!

Or, maybe I'll go on the starving children in Ethiopia diet, and say fuck food altogether until my weight is off.

Oh, and before any of you skinny do-gooders even think about lecturing me with shit like "everything in moderation", or "you can't weigh yourself everyday", or "it's got to be a lifestyle change", or "it's a marathon, not a sprint", or "try transcendental meditation before and after every meal", just know I'm in advance telling you to fuck off.

With that said, anyone have any thoughts you'd like to share? 

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