Tuesday, March 19, 2013

WTF is Kenny Poo Thinking?

With so many (self declared) brilliant thoughts and opinions piling up in this Poo brain of mine, I've decided that in the spirit of the Vatican naming a new pope I'll magnanimously pontificate my own pearls of wisdom to my beloved followers.

Ain't I sweet?

So, without further ado, allow me to share with you all just WTF Kenny Poo is thinking!

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This week, Mumford & Sons had a Rolling Stone interview in which they had a little whine-fest about that cad from American Idol, Phillip Phillips, who they say stole their preciously unique musical sound and used it for...gasp... ugly commercialism! I've got news for these motherfucking hypocrites: Dexys Midnight Runners released Come On Eileen back in 1982, and M & S couldn't have copied them more if they outright stole their songs.  

Oh, and by the way, Grammy or not, Phillips' album, World From The Side Of The Moon, has a deeper, more diverse collection of music than their cookie-cutter LP, Babel. Maybe these guys should have given P2's album a listen before opening their pompous pie holes? Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20, who actually toured with Phillip for a month, had nothing but glowing praise for Phillip's musicianship, songwriting, and overall upside in the music industry. 

Tooraloo-rayay, motherfuckers. 

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Speaking of interview bitch-fests... 
FCOKP (Favorite Chica Of Kenny Poo) Haley Reinhart was in Singapore to promote American Idol this past week, and was brutally slandered on twitter by some wretched, tabloid, cuntface reporter who bashed her as a "lowly, unworthy, unprofessional commoner not fit for the music business". 

Why would she do this? Well, because Haley apparently had the temerity to be irritated at this hack grilling her relentlessly about Interscope dropping her. Hopefully, Haley handles this better next time. Rather than getting a bit curt with her, it would be nice if she'd just punch that bitch right in the cuntface.

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Direct message from Kenny Poo to Haley Poo:  

Listen Up! was a great album, but a bit too girly. What made you so special on Idol was being the cool, badass rocker/jazz siren who women wanted to be like and men wanted to be with. You should get back to that again. I know you've told me you're not going the jazz route now, but jazz can really enhance and compliment the blues rock direction you've talked about. Add a tenor sax to give some smoke, and let your incredible raspy stylings do the rest. Be daring, go hard, and keep it musical instrument heavy/production light. 

Luv ya, 
Kenny Poo

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Speaking of Kenny Poo's girls, there's a lot of great news for my Mamasox. Crystal will be on Jay Leno March 25th, and her fantastic sophomore album All That For This hits March 26th. You can pre-order it now on both iTunes and Amazon. I'll give it a full review after it's released, but her live shows have covered virtually all the material, and left me with 100% certainty that this album will be something very special. Above is a live sampling of two tracks from the album, Someday and Shine. Click here to see the new official video for her single Dead Weight

I have no doubt this album will be well received both publicly and within the industry, and hopefully will sell well, too. Crystal has that magic, prisitine voice and is simply outstanding live. Check her website for tour dates, and definitely see her perform if she's in your area. If you do see her, tell her to get her granola ass to South Florida so Kenny Poo can see her gig, too!

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Finally, FCOKP Pia Toscano needs to be mentioned, because this past week some fans gave her a hard time for not releasing an album yet. Pia addressed it beautifully and with class over at PiaParadise.com, so I am posting it below for those of you interested in where things currently stand with the raven haired beauty. Seriously, does anyone honestly believe Pia isn't doing everything in her power to release her album? Come on, people!

"Pia here.. Unfortunately, I feel the need to defend myself which is something I didn't think I needed to do on Two very special places I look to for support and as an escape to the negative world we live in.

First off, Jared and I have known each other for years.. He co wrote Old You Back with me and is now doing some co writes on my forthcoming album. We do our covers just for fun as as way to just keep you guys with material while we both wrap up our solo albums.

Secondly, I'd like to address a few specific people on here who I will not name because you know who you are. When I responded to a fan on twitter the other day saying I only have control of a few things, I was simply just stating that I do not control release dates and negotiations at the present moment.. I am blessed with a wonderful team who has been working harder than ever on getting my project out to the public.. Harvey and Damon have created a magnificent project with me that I could not be more proud of.

However the strategy that we have requires a bit more time, as I have been going through development as an artist which is now unheard of these days and the very reason why so many upcoming artist fail. Because they come out to soon and simply just aren't ready. I was once that artist. However, Harvey, Damon, Mark, Tom, Jeff & I are in this for the long haul and are now doing things the right way. No artist emerges over night and in fact ALL of our favorite artists have been dropped and shelved. When you come from American Idol, you are expected to become a star over night, and for some that does happen, but for most it doesn't because it just simply isn't natural. Artists spend years perfecting their performance, music, and writing before they show that too the world.. Which is why they are so polished.. I believe that is the way it should be done in my opinion.

With this now being my second chance, we want to make sure all of our ground has been covered so that we are prepared to face and achieve it all. I am not here to be an over night "Here today, gone tomorrow" success story. I am in this to have a stable career and I am certainly in this for the long haul. Trust me, it would have been a lot easier to just throw in the towel a year ago, but that isn't me and never will be.

So if you are getting antsy and impatient and choose to fire off ill informed thoughts in your mind, then do it...but the truth is, your assumptions are incorrect. Have a little faith & know that our strategy is not public knowledge yet.

Thank you for your support, and to most of you for having patience & believing in me."

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So, that's what Kenny Poo has been thinking. Now, I want to know WTF you're thinking, so tell me in the comment section!

~Kenny Poo


  1. "was brutally slandered on twitter by some wretched, tabloid, cuntface reporter"

    I just spit soda out my nose.

    1. once again the great poobah has hit the bulls eye!!! keep um coming. peace

  2. Hey Kenny Poo...good column as usual. First, I agree about Mumford and Sons...I found "Babel" to be repetitive with a few highlights. I thought Phillip's CD was a much more interesting listen.

    Regarding Haley, I agree with you too. Haley needs to find her growler/rocker/blues side for the next release, with a touch of jazz for sure. BTW, she is only 22 so she has plenty of time to do that jazz release, which may be in the end the release that makes her a big star..we will see.

    In retrospect, I wonder if the whole "Listen Up" vibe was a little too over the top girly. That CD deserved to be taken as serious, timeless music but the cover art, etc made it seem lightweight. I know she was going for a summer feel-good nostaglic sexy vibe, but the music was so much more than that, and perhaps it did not get the respect it deserved.

    Don't know too much about Crystal, but will check out her CD. And good luck to Pia. She seems like she has priorities right and is approaching things in the right way.